Awake thinking about a Blog??

I layed in bed last night and thought about this blog..... yes I know my blog kept me awake. Im thinking it might be a good thing because at least it wasnt thoughts of bills or the kids. I also wondered again what exactly I was looking for. I have to say Im not overly sure. Maybe this is what life is supposed to be like. Maybe I created this reality for myself, well not maybe I did. The question now is how to move forward how to recreate my reality without affecting everyone else's life.... Then theres that little voice that says maybe their lives should be affected maybe thats part of the problem. I know that I have shut down inside of me. I think its important to share with anyone that may be reading this that Im overweight not oh just a bit haha but ALOT. Its getting to the point that moving is painful, again I created this reality and I know it im just not sure why. I feel disconnected from my life....